What do you think of the blogs on the website?

RTFC Barmy Army Mon May 11, 2009 1:33 am

Britain’s Got Talent Sunday 9th May

The show started off in Birmingham and the first audition was a man calling himself Mr Methane. He farted along to classical music but he was soon buzzed off for his stupidity. The Judges found it funny but at the same time highly disturbing and so he was given his marching orders. There were Acts which were briefly shown on TV which were Dog and Dance acts but they failed to impress the judges. Then appeared 52 year old singer Emma who thought she had the star qualities to win the show but he version of You raise me up went down badly, with here being buzzed twice in two minutes so she decided to start again twice again because of it. Third time lucky and her voice was getting worse and worse, she sounded like a dying cat but she was put out of her misery when she was buzzed off. Not surprisingly she got 3 no’s but blamed her performance on the microphone and the backing track. Just another person in Britain who thinks that there amazing at what they do but really their bl00dy rubbish.

Following on from that now onto Cardiff where 39 year old Lewis Taylor was performing his ventriloquist act with a twist. The twist was that the bird was a robot with a device making it talk and not Lewis doing the ventriloquist himself. This was clearly cheating and the judges were having none of it, so he left disappointed. Then the show sparked into life with a 35 year old man called Merlin entering the stage. His act was escaping from 10m of padlock chains whilst being in a water filled helmet. Not only that he found enough time to juggle fire as well. He pulled off the stunt successfully and was put through to the next round. The next act saw 24 year old waiter Greg sing Nessun Dorma which Paul Potts famously sang in 2007. His version of the song was atrocious, he sounded like a girl maybe had a sex change or either that he hasn’t gone through puberty just yet. All three judges said yes to him which was totally the wrong decision in my mind!!!

Lastly London was the last venue of the night. This saw Thomas aged 5 a magician impress the judges when he could make a toy parrot disappear from its cage. Though I have to say I wasn’t that thrilled by it as it was only one trick and he probably got through because he was rather cute and that they didn't want to make him cry in front of hundreds of people. Afterwards a women aged 49 called Frankie did belly dancing but it was just strange and creepy with here waving a cloth about. She received three no’s from the judges and rightly so because it was just embarrassing (espically for her sun watching on TV.) Amongst all this were Pole dancers and dancers bearing it all which saw the show literally turn into the Full Monty. Tonight’s episode ended on a high with 17 year old Shaun Smith singing a wonderful version of Aint no sunshine when she's gone.

The Apprentice Series 5- Episode 7 6th May

This weeks task was to chose 2 products from a possible 12 inventors and then go sell their products to company’s in the Manchester and Liverpool area. How hard could it be?

Mona Lewis became team leader of Empire after dedicating to herself (saying no one else could do a better job than her, which is slightly big headed to say the least.) In her team were Debra Barr (the goby girl who always like a bit of an argument but a good hard seller.) James McQullian (a very good talker who will get you those all important deals.) Howard Ebison (doesn’t like it when people have a go at him who is also weak under pressure...just what Sir Alan needs.)

Lorraine Tighe become team leader of Ignite which she gave it to herself without letting any of the others have a chance to speak or vote on who they would like to see as project manager (not the best idea in the world and also rather selfish as well.) In her team were Yasmina Siadata (a person who has performed well in most tasks.) Kate Walsh (who looks a little bit like Heather Mills but has a very nice personality and hasn’t done much wrong so far.) Ben Clarke (a very arrogant man who think he knows it all but clearly doesn’t and loves heated debates.) Lastly Phillip Taylor (can’t face it when he’s wrong and blames it on others.)

The first day saw them chose the two products they wanted to sell and Sir Alan gave them a helping hand when he set the up with two appointments to sell their items (one a Hardware store and another a Home Furnishing Store.) The next day was spent selling in the Manchester and Liverpool area and seeing who could get the most orders in total.

Ignite chose an invention which was called (POD/Pop on Delivery) which was utter rubbish just purely bag which would attach to the bike so you could cycle home with your weekly shopping. They also chose another wired and wacky product with Cat Play House which is simply a cardboard airplane or car which they would play in. Empire chose some better products with Lovers Lead (which was simply a dog lead were 2 people could walk the dog, which is useful for partners, brothers and sisters etc plus 10% of the money went to Betsey Dogs home. They also opted to go for a sleeping suit which had arms and legs with pockets as well so suitable for rock festivals, camping plus a few extra things.

Lorraine pitch for the POD didn’t go down well with the Hardware store manager questioning whether the weight would be distributed evenly and if you would be able to stay in a straight line. The Cat Play didn’t get the thumbs up either with asking them to order 5-6000 units which they kindly declined. Ignite just chose the wrong products for the companies a Hardware store and Home furnishing store which are unlikely to sell an overpriced sleeping bag which was whopping £85 and a dog lead with 2 handles, so no sale there I am afraid. Lorraine and Yasmina pitch for the POD at Home Furnishing store went down well with them saying it’s a really interesting product and could have a place in the store (which they got some orders for when announced in the boardroom with Sir Alan at the end of the task.)

After trying to sell their products to a Hardware Store and a Home Furnishing Store, the next day they were cold calling. Ben, Kate and Phillip had a massive problem with only having one appointment after calling 10, 15 or 20 companies. This angered Lorrain and she said would expect a more of return on the telesales (meaning more than just one!!) On the other hand Phillip was more interested in going to the pub rather than trying his hardest to get more appointments.

Empire got off to a good start selling 45 units of the sleeping suit to a camping shop. Ignite did get an appointment with one of the biggest pet retailer in the UK (which Ben set up for Lorraine and Yasmina.) Though Lorraine and Yasmina did argue over who was going to do the pitch so a bit of friction there. The other team went to the same shop to sell their Lovers Lead which saw Debra pitch. It was very good news for them with store selling 60 different leads but their product they had never seen before, so a gap in the market. The company ordered 200 leads for a trial period so another impressive order for Empire. Ben, Kate and Phillip went to their only appointment which was a bike shop in Chester to try and sell the POD. But yet again there were questions whether it would effect the peddling so sadly they got rejected. Lorraine and Yasmina went to the biggest pet retailer in the UK to sell the Cat Play House but only managed to order a disappointing 50 units. Empire were keeping up the good work with all four members getting orders for the Lovers Lead. Lorraine and Yasmina just found it very difficult getting shops to order the Cat Play House with a manager of one shop saying “it’s just a cardboard box which I chuck out weekly” and he wasn’t prepared to order even 5 units. Kate, Ben and Phillip had one more appointment with a Top City Centre Department store but they were left frustrated when the Cat Play got the thumbs down.

Both teams faced the board meeting with Sir Alan about how well the task was completed. He criticised Empire for not choosing the right products for the two companies he had set up for them and they get zero orders. Ignite were also in the dock for not getting the right products but managed to get some orders from the companies that Sir Alan put on for them. Empire sold all their products on the 2nd day (cold calling and raked in a fantastic £4501.) On the other hand Ignite only managed to pocket £1302 from all their sales.) Kate, Ben and Phillip sold nothing for Ignite. Lorraine sold £870 worth and Yasmina chipped in with £495 worth.

Empire won by a country mile and Debra, Howard, James and Mona got a treat from Sir Alan with a VIP Roles Royce type of helicopter going over London whilst the sun was setting.

Sir Alan called them into the board room after visiting the Bridge Cafe and he wanted to discover what went wrong. Phillip said that he, Kate and Ben were the best sales people on that task but surely not when they didn’t sell a thing! Kate came up withy poor excuses saying that they couldn’t get hold of managers about getting appointments or couldn’t get their foot through the door to sell but it’s more likely that they couldn’t be asked and were relying on Yasmina and Loraine to bring in the sales. Phillip just showed to be more arrogant saying he could have sold more than Lorraine and Yasmina even though he wasn’t there.

It was between Kate, Lorraine and Phillip who would be fired by Sir Alan leaving Yasmina and Ben safe who went back to the pent house. Phillip just wouldn’t leave Lorraine alone saying it was her fault for lack of sales (which is strange when he himself didn’t make any sales.) Sir Alan also looked at Phillips bad qualities saying he was arrogant, cocky and obsessive amongst other things which is never a good thing. Lorraine then came under criticism from Sir Alan after she said she was a slow burner in though process but avoided any more embarrassment by spilling the beans about the Phillip and Kate friendship (they were flirting all day long.)

Both Lorraine and Kate live to fight another day but Phillip was fired, which was the right decisions in my mind a clown who blamed his mistakes on others and very arrogant which Sir Alan clearly had enough of at the end of the day.